I feel like I'm in dance class right now
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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