OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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