there's paper in my vomit.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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