I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
