I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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