What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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