spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
