and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
