Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
