I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
