Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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