I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
