then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
being pregnant is like rehab
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
