i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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