So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
