Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
