just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we're making bets on your personal life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
