Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
