that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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