around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
