No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
