People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
