I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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