Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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