hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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