Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
