Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
