Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
