dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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