is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
