so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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