He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
