would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
