K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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