i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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