whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
