Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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