I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
