It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
