from now on my penis is your penis
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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