I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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