She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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