when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
