The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When are your genitals available?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
