I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
