my soul wont recognize me after tonight
What did we do last night that was yellow?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
