Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
