Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
