You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
