Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
