Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
