I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
